This time, i reduced the area to 64x200 pixels.
I have to let 4 colours left among the 16 available for specific ATARI ST LOW.
Change done on the drawing.
Tried to draw pinwheel rather than a candy or bag.
Will try to draw rustles for cuter aspect...
Any other idea ?

Errors in line drawing ? Jagging or ... ?

There are some jagged lines, but nothing too major (seeing as you could fix them later on).

I see some problems with the character herself though, I'll try to list them.
- the chin is very close to neck, you should make the jawline more apparent, and move the face slightly more to the left.
- legs seem out of place, as if they were moved too much to the left, the main reason it looks this way is because the stomach is too far away from the butt (but I think this was just stylistic choice, so if it was, ignore this).
- upper limbs and forearms are too short.
- her right hand (left one from out point of view), is almost undefinable, if it's like such because of canvas size, move the hand and basket over on to the skirt, and make the hand slightly larger.
- same with her left hand, could use some enlargment and more proprely defined (I assume you're going to go into making the smaller details, like the fingers later one, so this is just like a little reminder I guess).
- legs are pretty much fine, the right one could be straightened a little more, and there are some jagged lines on her left leg (the bent leg)

Just my two cents.

Thanks for your detailed advice ! :)

- i'll move 1 or two pixel on the left nose & upper lips, and maybe change line between chin
-yes, legs should be upper, on the right to get more natural. I wanted to add curve, folowing the skirt line, from the back to the behinf to the leg, to make her cuter but it seems too unreal
- arms maybe too short too, you're right, i'll modif this
- yes
- exact
- jagging to correct, yes.

Thanks you again !

Ive noticed you tend to use pretty desaturated colors, all with a blue-ish tint to them.  Also, your shading tends to look flat because it doesnt really show a light source.  You also focus on details likes folds, rather than on form, so the result is noisy and flat.  This is just a quick sloppy paint over:

No problem Hylst, always happy to help. :)


Just as r1k said, the picture looks pretty flat; I think it's
not only the fact that the lighting source isn't definite/visible, but also because the contrast is pretty low between a few of the colours/colour ramps.

As for the picture itself, I see some problems with the proportions and anatomy. I think that an edit would deliver my point across more clearly though, so here it is:


Although the pose after my edit isn't very interesting, well, not interesting at all to be honest, I think that the point is still there.

I wouldn't say that making the pose have more "movement", and thus look more interesting, would be very hard, but it can require some work.


Edited by Night - 27 August 2013 at 10:22am

The combinations is what makes it, not the colours themselves.

Left arm (from our point of view) should be just slightly longer.
Shoulders could be less prominent (a bit lower than they are now); additionally, tilt the upper body, ever so slightly, towards us. Perhaps you could even tilt the head differently, could create a more interesting picture.

Both lower legs look a little too bulky.


But regardless of that, I think that the core problem is that the pose doesn't have much "movement" going on, mainly because everything faces one direction from the side.

Overcoming this would be to draw the lines of each limb/body part. These could be lines, circles, squares, etc.
An example on my previous edit:


Oh also, if you need more space, why not just increase the canvas size?

Here is the result of these modifs :



upper body is towards us, but 'downer' (legs) at the 'opposite'

Shading on the ponytail in the back should be darker. Light source is top right, her head would be blocking the light. Same thing on the skirt, bucket, and the legs. From a design standpoint, the only thing off-putting for me is the hand holding the bucket. It looks a bit mangled. I know hardly anything about anatomy so I dunno if that was fixed or not.
EDIT: I like to show, so here's an edit of what I did. Not 100% how I'd prefer to do it, tried to maintain a bit of the style.

Basically went about fixing some shading, especially where the left arm bends. Before if you notice the shading was the same so it didn't look like it bent. It actually took me a while to figure out it was supposed to be bent. Fixed some banding I found. I also fixed the hands. I'm not too fantastic at hands myself though >.>
Probably did the bucket wrong too, looks too far off in the background.


Edited by FreshSheet - 29 August 2013 at 7:58pm

Here is the corrected final one :

Tanks Night, R1k & FreshSheet ! You were really helpful.

To Night, i'll use the 3/4 view that you show me for a next girl a bit different, to see what it could render.
Coming soon !

Thanks !! :)